Why your willpower disappears + what to do when it does

What feels like running out of willpower is often your brain just switching modes.

Why this matters…

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If you don't adjust with that shift, everything starts to feel like you’re pushing uphill.

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You’ll start telling yourself:

• “Why can’t I just focus?”
• “What’s wrong with me?”

Or worse yet...

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"I'm a failure because I don't have 100% self-control all the time."

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🥴

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Here’s what’s actually going on…

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Your brain has two modes; tunnel and open mode.

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In tunnel mode, it:

• Grabs one thing and shuts the rest of the world out 
• Is more goal driven, resistant to distractions and able to power through difficult tasks 

In open mode, it:

• Opens the door and lets new ideas wander in 
• Sees links between new information 
• Is more flexible 

Tunnel mode is for finishing. 

Open mode is for exploring. 

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Neither mode is ‘better’. 

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They’re just strategies your brain uses depending on what context it's in and what it’s trying to achieve.

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This also explains why you give in to temptation.

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It’s not always that your willpower ran out…

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It’s that your brain shifted into open mode — and the door got left open.

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What to do next…

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The next time you're in tunnel mode but feel your willpower start weakening…

• Your attention slips and starts scanning for an exit 
• Your body starts fatiguing with your workout 
• You feel your mind tire the more you focus 

… reframe the signal not as a sign you need to push harder but as a signal that your brain is changing mode.

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Then instead of gripping tighter, take your foot off the gas for a moment:

• Step away from your desk when writing feels heavy and take a short walk 
• When the push during a workout fades, don’t quit - change the intensity 
• Instead of reading more, clean your room 

Or: don’t abandon the task, just adjust how you’re doing it. 

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if you want to resist temptation, don’t rely on willpower alone.

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Rely on being in the right mode when temptation shows up.

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In tunnel mode, distractions get filtered out.

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In open mode, they get explored.

(pause)

So protect your tunnel mode early:

• remove obvious triggers
• move rooms
• keep distractions out of reach

Because once you’ve shifted into open mode…

resisting gets a lot harder.

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But now you might be thinking…

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“Ok, so let’s say I’m sitting down trying to focus on something (tunnel mode) but I notice some resistance pulling me towards scrolling on my phone instead. Is that my brain wanting to shift gears or is it just a distraction?”

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Answer…

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There are two types of resistance. 

1. Doorway resistance 
2. Exit resistance 

Doorway resistance is the urge for distraction you feel early on. 

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The reason why it's called “doorway resistance” is because if you surf the resistance for 5-10 minutes, it’ll disappear and you’ll get into or back into flow.

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Rule 1: If it gets easier, stay.

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Exit resistance is the unease you feel even after persisting - and this is your brain genuinely wanting to shift modes. 

• Your focus is dropping despite effort 
• You’re re-reading the same line
• Your energy feels flat, not sharp
• The urge isn’t “this is hard” it’s “this isn’t working anymore”

Rule 2: If it gets worse, switch.

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Again:

• Step away from your desk, take a walk, call a friend, clean your room
• Let your brain shift into open mode.

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A cool question to ask...

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“Am I at the doorway… or am I actually done?”

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Stay for 10 more minutes.

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If resistance decreases: keep going.

If it gets worse: switch modes.

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...

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That’s the main takeaway I want you to have from this.

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So if that all makes sense, feel free to bounce.

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But if you’d like to go a few more minutes deeper, here’s what follows:

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• The old idea of how willpower works
• The origins of the "tunnel vs open mode" idea  

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Go Deeper…

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1.) The old idea of how willpower works

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The idea that willpower is like some internal energy, worn out the more you use it, started in the mid to late 1990s.

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Psychologists call it; ego depletion. 

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On the surface, it makes sense.

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After a long day of resisting temptation you’re more likely to crash on the sofa and binge the night away watching netflix and eating ice cream.

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Right?

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But the more psychologists tried to pin down ego depletion, the more it slipped through their fingers.

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It felt true, but it didn’t hold up once the studies started investigating it.

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The bottom line…

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The old idea that willpower works like a muscle is being questioned.

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So if that idea doesn’t hold up, we need a new way of thinking about it…

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2.) The origins of the tunnel vs open mode idea

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This idea comes from the psychologist Bernhard Hommel.

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He termed it; metacontrol theory.

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Neither tunnel nor open mode is ‘better’.

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They’re just modes your brain shifts into depending on the context, your goals and how you feel.

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Tunnel mode:

• Pushing through a workout or final hour of studying 

Open mode:

• Chatting with friends or going on a stroll around the block 

Evolutionarily, being able to shift into different modes made sense for our ancestors because hyper-focusing on one thing until exhaustion would’ve been costly (a caveman needed to be aware of his surroundings in case... you know: 🐅).

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Metacontrol theory also aligns with modern neurobiology; different dopamine patterns in your brain are linked to either focused or flexible thinking.

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In summary…

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You don’t have a willpower problem.

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You have a mode mismatch.

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So my challenge to you this week…

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When you feel yourself slipping, ask:

• “Am I forcing tunnel mode… when my brain wants open mode?”

Then adjust the task - not your effort.

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