Amigos and amigas!

It's been a while since we did The Big 3 style, so let's jump straight back in...

- 1 mental health tip

- 1 social skills tip

- 1 personal reflection

Let's begin with this week's mental health tip...

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1.) A weird way to motivate yourself

The provisional life gnaws at us all.

The idea that you haven't quite arrived yet, your life hasn't fully begun and there'll be plenty more opportunities to do that thing you've been postponing.

So why not just wait until tomorrow to do it? :)

But you know where this leads.

Regret.

Because "tomorrow" never comes.  

So the next time you tell yourself you're "not quite ready yet", you "don't want to" or you're "too busy" to do this thing, try this...

Imagine what your life would look like if you never did this thing ever again.

For example:

- If you want to get into the gym but haven't been yet for whatever reason, imagine what the rest of your life would look like if you never worked out.

- If you want to approach an attractive stranger but don't because you "don't feel ready yet", imagine what the rest of your life would look like if you spent it completely alone.

- If you want to knuckle down on deep work but keep putting it off because you're "getting too distracted", imagine what the rest of your life would look like financially if you never did anything productive.

The bottom line is...

If you can't do this thing now, what makes you think you'll magically be able to do it later?

Seriously.

THINK ABOUT IT FOR A SECOND.

If you can't this thing now, what makes you think you'll magically be able to do it later?

- A weather change?

- More confidence?

- More energy?

You're conning yourself by believing a better time will arrive in the future to do this thing. And you know it.

In fact, when "later" comes around you'll be less likely to do the thing because you'll be more used to postponing it. Making it easier for you to kick the can down the road again.

But the key point with all of this isn't to force yourself to do things you don't want to do.

The point is to admit to yourself whether you actually want to do this thing or not.

And that's worth finding out so you can finally decide to stop torturing yourself for not doing it.

How can you tell whether you actually want to do something or not?

Well, if imagining what your life would look like without doing this thing (and not getting it's potential benefits) doesn't activate the energy within you to go and do it, then you genuinely don't want to do it.

Make sense?

For example:

- If imagining what my life would be like if I never went to the gym again doesn't spark the energy within me to go to the gym, then I genuinely don't want to go.

- If imagining myself as a lonely, miserable old sod in 10 years time doesn't give me a kick up the arse to approach that attractive stranger, then I genuinely don't care about approaching her.

- If imagining what my finances could look like in 5 years if I never worked again doesn't scare me into a hustle marathon, then I genuinely don't want to work.

And if you don't want to do this thing, no matter what it is, that's ok.

In fact, that's more than ok.

But what's not ok is not admitting to yourself you don't actually want to do it but continuing to convince yourself you do.

Do it or don’t. If you don’t, stop wanting it.

Finally, here's something similar I tweeted a few weeks ago...

"Instead of creating more excuses for why you're not doing this thing, why not just admit you don't actually want it, reclaim that wasted energy and move on?"

Now let's cover this week's social skills tip...

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2.) People who say "my friend"

"How are you my friend?"

"Hello my friend."

Those who call you "my friend" are the most likely to screw you over.

Neither are they actually your friend.

Now let's finalise with this week's personal realisation...

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3.) Emotional vocabulary

How many emotions are you mislabelling because you don’t have the vocabulary to describe them properly yet?

Also...

Excitement, without direction and not acted upon, can ferment into anxiety.

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That's all for now.

Until next week.

Lew