Amigos and amigas!

The big 3 newsletter is here!

- 1 mental health tip

- 1 social skills tip

- 1 personal reflection

Let's dive straight into this week's mental health tip...

1.) Psychological blueprints

If you're like me, you probably fall into 3-5 similar mood patterns each day.

So why not choose which moods you fall into intentionally?

This is the idea of psychological blueprints, and I thought of it 2 weeks ago after walking through the streets of London.

It was around midday, I was feeling tired after having travelled up via train the whole morning and I was slowly dragging myself through the  Victoria tube station to meet a friend in 30 minutes time.

But for the life of me I just couldn’t be bothered to walk, talk or smile at anyone.

So I continued walking to the next platform, wondering how the bloody hell I'm going to muster the social energy to speak with a friend all day, but then the sound of booming laughter shocked me out of my misery.

So I lifted my eyes from glooming defeatedly at the floor, neck slouched and shoulders tensed, to try and trace where this refreshing sound was coming from.

And there he was.

All 182cm of him.

An African man, around 30 years old, walking towards me, beaming with laugher and joy while talking on the phone to a friend.

I’ve never seen a smile so big in my life.

Bright white teeth, strong, long dreadlocks and skin softer than a baby's bum (not quite sure how I knew that).

Better yet, he kept eye contact with me for the whole 10 seconds our paths crossed as if his purpose for those 10 seconds was to infect me with his energy.

And infect me he did.

I've now got a rare African bum disease.

JOKING.

As soon as he walked past me I noticed I couldn’t stop smiling.

The Lewis from 10 seconds ago now no longer existed.

I was now an African man smiling while talking to a friend on the phone. Because for the rest of the day I gave myself the challenge of acting as if I was.

The result?

Energy instantly restored. Day with friend went awesome. I even went to a Colombian market to distribute some international rizz.

Then it got me thinking…

How many other psychological blueprints could I keep up my sleeve to help me snap out of a bad mood and slip into a more desirable one?

So it's these psychological blueprints that I've been collecting over the past week.

For example:

- Lewis talking on the phone to a good friend.

- Lewis when returning home in an airport (explanation: basically, you know when you return home after travelling and you've got that "dude get tf outta my way I know exactly what I'm doing and where I'm going" energy? Yeah that.)

- Lewis when he really likes someone.

- Lewis when he's just meditated.

- Lewis when he's just done a workout.

The bottom line is...

I could give you all the neuroscience in terms of how to change your mood but the truth is, you already do it naturally. So just write up a list of the 1-5 mood states you like the most, and when you're in a bad mood you'd like to change, just ask...

- What would (desirable version) of myself do right now?

- What would they think?

- How would they feel?

Then you'll notice by simply asking those questions you'll naturally slip into that blueprint.

Your physiology, posture, emotions, gestures and facial expressions will change. I'm not sure how but it's as if your brain just swaps the current blueprint for another. The only challenge is you'll have to keep rehearsing the blueprint so it doesn't fade.

But even still, just snapping yourself out of a mood for a moment could be enough to change the course of your day.

A more recent example...

- 5 days ago I was taking a flight from Mexico City airport to Merida. But after 30 minutes of aimlessly walking around trying to find my gate, I admitted I was lost.

- So after realising I was in the blueprint of "lost Lewis wondering what everyone is thinking about him", I made the switch to "Lewis when returning home in an airport" and asked what the latter Lewis would do in such a situation.

Answer:

Bowl up to an information office, spark up a lively conversation with the person helping and get the required info.

And that's what I did.

Now I was no longer a wandering English man but a confident connoisseur of airport logistics who knew where to go.

So my final questions to you are:

- What are some good moods you've been in recently?

- Now map out; how was you feeling, thinking and what were you doing while in that mood?

- What names could you attach to those moods to make it easier for you to slip into them in the future?

- How could you remind yourself to slip into that mood blueprint the next time you're in a bad mood?

Caveat:

Don't forget bad moods are helpful sometimes :)

Now let's cover this week's social skills tip...

2.) Find the strugglers

I’ve been banging on for the last year about how the best way to meet new people is to find an activity you like or want to try, then go to a club that does it in your local area every week.

- Salsa dancing

- Jiu jitsu

- Calisthenics

- Pottery

- Poetry

- Sausage mincing

Whatever floats your boat.

But something we haven’t covered yet is wtf to do when you actually go to these clubs to make sure you’re open, friendly and people want to meet you again.

(Spoiler; we’ll cover this in depth in an upcoming video, but I just wanted to give you a quick tip now…)

Find the struggling people.

Here’s what that means...

No matter how nervous you feel going to a new event to meet new people, I can bet you all the money I have there’ll be someone else there who feels more nervous than you.

How can you spot them?:

- They’ll be reserved

- They’ll be hesitant to join in

- They might come across as slightly awkward

So in order to calm your nerves and make friends at the same time, a  task you can assign yourself is to find those people and invite them into a state of collaboration.

This might look like:

- Walking into the venue and scanning for the person who seems the most reserved, then choosing to speak to them before speaking to anyone else.

- Smiling more at the reserved to invite them into a conversation.

Essentially, no matter what you do or say to this person, the task is to communicate: "hey, I see you struggling over there with your tense shoulders. I'm here to meet new people too. How about you join me and we'll get to know the others as well?"

Some quick ways to do this:

- A simple acknowledgment; "hey man, how's it going?"

- Stick to the basics; "hey, is this your first time here as well?"

Find the strugglers and invite them into social collaboration and they'll absolutely love you for it.

Note: if worst comes to worst and you can't find any strugglers, hit someone who seems to have been going for a long time with; "it seems like you're not a beginner 🧐".

Now let's finalise with this week's personal realisation...

3.) Routine

Neglect the importance of routine at your peril.

We have an in built psychological need for it.

So when you start to feel angsty, chaotic and spent, return to structure for a bit so you can then guide your ship better.

As the saying goes; a husky gets anxious without it's harness.

That's all for now.

Until next week.

Lew

Quote of the week:

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