How to *literally* achieve anything

To literally achieve anything, don’t tell yourself you can do it.

Ask yourself if you can do it.

Why this matters…

Your brain hates unanswered questions and being told things it doesn't believe.

Which means; hyping yourself up with something like “I can do this” means the words will bounce off while your brain looks at you like...

*wait... do brains look? i was gonna say "floats there like" - ffs 😭

But…

Curiously questioning your ability shifts your brain into problem-solving mode, where it actively searches for answers that move you toward action.

So here's what to do next…

Socially:

If you want to make a good impression on someone, don’t tell yourself “I’ve got this!” ask: “what would a socially confident person do right now?”

Work:

If you want to follow through on a project you think is slightly above you, don’t tell yourself “this will be fine” ask: “what would I have to do to make this happen?”

Habits:

If you’re in a procrastination spiral, stumbling behind all the “important” tasks of your life, don’t tell yourself “I’ll get back on track” ask: “what’s the next thing I could do to build momentum?”

Or in any context just ask yourself: "can I make this happen?".

Callout...

That's the main summary of this letter - so if that makes sense, feel free to click off now.

But if you want to dive a few minutes deeper, what follows is:

The brief origins of this type of self-talk

Why it works (the quick science bite)

The 5 types of questions to ask yourself and when

The origins:

Asking yourself questions is a type of self-talk called interrogative self-talk.

The term was coined after breakthrough research in the 2010s from Ibrahim Senay and Dolores Albarracin showed:

- Declarative self-talk such as “I will do X” sometimes decreased follow through (whether someone actually takes action on something).

- But interrogative self-talk such as “will I do X?” increased follow through.

Their core finding:

Asking yourself questions engages the brain differently than telling yourself statements.

CBT had been banging on about something similar years before.

That:

Affirming or arguing with someone’s thoughts never worked.

But asking targeted questions loosened rigid thinking.

So why does asking yourself questions engage the brain differently?

Why it works (the quick science bite)...

Interrogative self-talk works because of 4 key reasons.

It bypasses psychological resistance.

Questions activate search, not defence.

It reduces identity threat.

It uses the brain's completion bias.

Here's what these mean...

1.) It bypasses psychological resistance.

Your brain hates being told what to do - even by you.

So when you use declarative self-talk:

- I must, I will, I should.

your brain resists action because it feels pressured.

Questions don't pressure, they trigger autonomy.

- How could I…

- What’s one way I could…

Why this matters…

Psychologists have shown (through self-determination theory) that your motivation to do something increases when you feel autonomy towards it - that you can freely choose to do it or not.

Feeling pressured to do something increases resistance to act.

2.) Questions activate search, not defence.

When you ask questions you automatically engage:

- Your prefrontal cortex

- The brain’s problem solving networks

- Pattern matching systems

When you use declarative self-talk you trigger:

- Truth monitoring - "is this true?"

- Self-evaluation against the statement “what does this mean about me?”

So questions nudge your brain into solver mode, not evaluator mode. (And it's solver-mode-brain that achieves things).

3.) It reduces identity threat.

Human behaviour gets sticky when there’s a mismatch between who you want to be and who you are.

So if you say:

- I am disciplined

- I am confident

but deep down you're not... that creates tension.

Your brain is hearing this, but believing that.

This incongruence needs a lot of energy to be maintained.

Asking:

- What would a disciplined version of me do next?

- What’s one confident move I could try?

shortens that distance by making you see yourself in the third person.

It’s now no longer: “I want to be this but I’m not” it’s “what if I were like this?” - your brain works best with the latter.

Finally...

4.) It uses the brain's completion bias.

Unanswered questions makes your brain squirm.

So when you ask a question, you open a loop your brain naturally wants to close.

Because open loops create tension.

Closing them - as your brain knows - relieves that tension.

Hence a good question can nudge you forward even when your motivation is low - because your brain wants to answer it.

So now let's finish with the practical; the 5 types of interrogative questions and how to use them…

1.) Initiation questions

Purpose:

- Decrease activation energy

- Start movement

Use these when you feel frozen, avoidant or overwhelmed.

Examples:      

- What’s the smallest step I could take in the next 2 minutes?

- If I were allowed to do this badly, how would I start?

- What would “just opening the door” look like here?          

2.) Friction reduction questions

Purpose:

- Identify hidden resistance

- Tweak the environment or task

They reveal:

- Unnecessary difficulty

- Over-complexity

- Energy mismatches

- Great for when you want to act on something but keep delaying.

Examples:

- What’s making this harder than it needs to be?

- What part of this could I remove, simplify, or delay?

- How could I make this 20% easier or lighter right now?

3.) Agency restoring questions

Purpose:

- Restore choice  

- Re-establish control

- Use when you feel stuck or trapped.

Examples:

- What part of this is actually within my control?

- What’s adjustable here, even if nothing else is?

- If I had to choose something, what would I choose to do next?

4.) Identity bridge questions

Use when your identity feels fragile.

Purpose:

- Separate worth from performance

- Allow experimentation without deciding who you “are”

Examples:

- What would a more confident version of me try here?

- If this were an experiment, what would I test first?

- What would my future self want me to do right now?

5.) Reflection without rumination questions

Use after action or discomfort.

Purpose:  

- Learn

- Prevent shame spirals

- They look forward, not inward.

Examples:

- What did this teach me for next time?

- What would I do slightly differently if this came up again?

- What’s one adjustment that would improve the next attempt?

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Or just stick with the good old...

Can I do this?

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That's all for this week.

Thanks for reading,

Lew

P.s. become socially confident here.

P.p.s. NEW LIFE HACK - chocolate oat milk. Also here's a selfie of me recording the new social confidence course (what the link above is for).

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