The Art of Decision-Making - A Quick Guide to Making the Right Choices

Whether we choose to notice them or not, there are many factors that influence and guide our decisions.

Fortunately, with hindsight, we can trace our decisions that we have made and, provided we take lessons from them and move on, we can fine-tune our future decisions.

By examining our decisions, we will realise how consequential even the smallest decision is.

If our decisions remain unexamined, we are susceptible to external influences and emotional reflexes, leading us away from measured and rational responses that are grounded in reality.

It is always helpful to question our behaviour and inspect the reasons why we made certain decisions, who they affected and how it changed us, because it helps to distinguish the unproductive themes and patterns from the productive ones. It is also better to spot a misguided belief ourselves than it is to be called out for it as we are less likely to change if we are judged for it.

In this article, I will detail three core principles that can improve your decision making, as well as the missing piece that joins these together: timing.

Timing is vital; we can often come to a rational conclusion but if it’s at the wrong time, it will not be well received. If you wait too long to make a decision, someone may ask, “why didn’t you tell me this earlier”?

The overarching aim of this article is to explain how having the relevant information, making decisions at the right time and, ultimately, doing what YOU think is right is everything.

The 3 Core Principles

Starting with the core principles first, you can only make a rational decision when you fulfil the following criteria:

1. You are patient and focused

2. You trust your judgement (no shortcuts from others!)

3. You are open-minded

Be patient and wait for the right time

To make sure you are acting at the right time, you must first ask yourself:

How much time do I have?

As soon as you answer this, step back from the situation to avoid any influences that may obstruct your clarity and focus on the essential information.

Having too much information can overwhelm you and give too many options to choose from, and so we make none. The term for this is analysis paralysis; something we are all susceptible to feeling, bombarded by so much news it makes your head spin. It’s no wonder we feel indecisive, we never think that too much information can be bad for us!

Handling this information, your brain is like a cup that is overflowing. Instead of adding more information to the mix, we need to stop filling up and look at what needs emptying instead.

We do this by stepping back away from the situation. Just as a swordsman needs space in order to swing his sword, we need to physically remove ourselves from the spotlight of information at the right point in order to look over the evidence. This will prepare us to act at the right moment instead of feeling overwhelmed.

Timing and Patience is required

This timing and patience can be summarised in a word: forbearance.

If you’re unfamiliar with this word, the author Carlos Castaneda defines it best:

To Castaneda, forbearance is “Wait[ing] patiently – no rush, no anxiety – a simple, joyful holding back of what is due”. (1)

In a word, forbearance means to have self-control. It stops us from leading with impulse. This is dangerous as our first reactions may be misleading. If we instead take our time, we are making a decision based on the information of the situation instead of an emotional reaction.

Leading with emotion is risky because, when we are emotional, we are prone to taking things personally and, therefore, our rationality is compromised. If you fail to conquer this, you will begin to doubt and second-guess your decisions, seeing things that aren’t there as a result of being inconsistent in your thought process.

Trust your judgement and not someone else’s

Confidence in your own decisions requires the realisation that you know yourself better than anyone else does.

You have access to the most information, and it is you who has the ability and the time to talk it through with yourself.

When we open a dialogue with ourselves, as long as we treat ourselves with care and respect, we will be able to bridge the gap between our external actions and our authentic selves.

To help preserve this respectful approach, it can be helpful to look at our inner self as if it is a childlike version of ourselves.

In the words of the late, great Director David Lynch:

“Inside, we are ageless...and when we talk to ourselves, it's the same age of the person we were talking to when we were little”. (2)

You can only trust in your judgement when your self-esteem is secure

In her book The Courage to Confront Evil, the author Caroline Myss defines self-esteem as:

“The capacity to build trust on your spiritual instincts over your five senses”. [3]

In her words, “it is the step-by-step journey of you experiencing rejection, humiliation, isolation, shame, injustice and overcoming it”. [4]

Constant exposure to difficult experiences is the only way you can build up your self-esteem as, when we consistently overcome adversity, we become more courageous and our opinion of ourselves improves. This leads to an authentic self, one who is not afraid to, as Johnny Cash wrote to Bob Dylan, “track some mud on the carpet”.

With our ability validated by consistently displaying composure, we can begin to trust our decisions

Taking a breath and waiting until the emotional response is subdued is a choice that we come to from experiencing moments where we put our foot in it. Learning from these mistakes, we now know to only commit to a decision when we are composed and not emotional.

However, making the right decision is easier said than done.

How do I know if it is the right decision?

To find what is truly in your best interests, you need to follow your intuition.

If you are unfamiliar, the oxford definition reads that intuition is "a thing that one knows or considers likely from feeling rather than conscious reasoning".

We all have moments where we sense something isn't right, there may be a secret tension you feel when walking into a crowded room.

This unshakeable instinct contrasts with our ability to reason based on the information at our disposal.

Ultimately, we need to use both faculties to come to the right decision. Personally, I have found that it is preferable to follow your intuition after you have digested the information from the situation and let it settle. You can then look back and consider what your initial intuitive feeling is in active solitude, considering if the gut feeling has changed or stayed constant.

When you think it is the right time to react, two fundamental rules to keep on top of this is to:

· Only respond when you have enough evidence

· Only decide when you are not controlled by emotion

Of course, we don’t want to wait too long that the right moment goes by. We just need to be aware that making no decision is also a choice and sometimes the situation has time constraints.

The longer we are stuck in the same place, the less we will develop

Our strongest beliefs, are often emotionally charged, and as such are stuck, resistant to change.

Being stuck in our ways, comes from being too attached. Attachment and the strong emotions that come with it make us resistant to seeing the full picture.

So, to keep our decisions clear, we must detach from the situation and view it with as much objectivity as possible. Once you are satisfied with your choice, return to the situation with a new-found clarity in your decision.

However, there is always going to be some level of attachment that we cannot shake free from. How we are perceived and how we perceive ourselves is an attachment which is tied to other people, and so we cannot easily detach from it.

For example, in the workplace, a younger man may be treated with more respect if he has a beard instead of being clean-shaven because a beard gives the appearance of maturity.

Even this change has the potential to shift the situation as it may skew our choices if we are treated with less respect.

The importance of appearances in every-day life is an unfortunate reality but is one we must accept. Just as there is a need to over-complicate a situation, there is also a potentiality in all of us to over-simplify and label people in categories to conserve our brain power.

Thinking takes time so most people judge

This statement is inspired by the psychologist Carl Jung who wrote:

“Thinking is difficult, therefore let the herd pronounce judgment!” (5)

If you are in a group and someone disrupts what is acceptable and familiar, you, being in the majority, places you in a safe and secure position to shoot down the outsider and make a snap judgement as you know the majority will back your view.

To refrain from doing this, we must also keep in mind that observing is preferable to evaluating in your head, especially early on when it is too early to make a judgement.

Always question short-cuts

We are always secretly looking for short-cuts to our problems, quick fixes that can make our lives easier. This is becoming more true online, where, for the sake of convenience, algorithms push us towards a more assisted life. Our lives are only getting more and more convenient with AI answering any question we throw at it assisting us in ways we have never seen before.

The downside of this convenience is that it is a slippery slope.

Being too reliant on technology, you are thinking less and less for yourself, always favouring the short-cut route. This will only lead to worse decisions.

You can frame it in this way:

More short-cuts lead to:

Less exposure to challenge = Worse decisions

If we flip this:

Less short-cuts lead to:

More exposure to challenge = Better decisions

When we take the technological short-cut to answer our issue, we don’t learn the lessons that we would if we stumbled on the answer on our own. As the Author Lloyd Alexander wrote:

“We learn more by looking for an answer to a question and not finding it than we do from learning the answer itself”.

By being challenged less, we are negating our own gift of rationality.

Conclusion

In conclusion, to make a good decision you must:

Sit with your initial intuitive position, let things rest, remain open-minded to the information and the possible options but refrain from latching onto external opinions as you may be tempted to over-simplify the solution as a coping mechanism.

It is crucial that throughout this process, you trust in your own decisions, make them hassle free and be flexible in case you are missing something or overcomplicating the issue.

Thanks for reading!

‍Sources:

[1] Carlos Castaneda - Fire from within. Pg129

[2] David Lynch - Catching the Big Fish

[3&4] Caroline Myss – The Courage to Confront Evil. Chapter 1

[5] Carl Jung, CW 10, Page 344, Para 652.