Self-Hatred, The Golden Rule & Emptiness

Amigos y amigas,

It's 17:04 in Marbella.

I'm sat in a cozy cafe, a beef salad (or whatever I ordered) is on the way, the sun is dancing through the windows as it slowly sets outside.

There's people sipping coffees, looking at their phones, thinking about whatever is still unresolved in their hearts.

In other words...

It's time for me to share some (hopefully helpful) things I've been thinking about this week.

Enjoy.

1.) Don't talk about old friends when with new friends.

Personal opinion this one...

When you bring up old people when with new people, a weird tension gets released in the air.

A sort of: who cares? I'm here with you now. Be here - type of tension.

Leave the past where it is: behind you.

But hey, that's just what I think at the moment.

2.) When does this thing call you?

You know that thing you desire?

You know... that thing you can't stop imagining having in your life to finally make you happy.

The country to move to, the person to be with, the thing to do.

Whatever it is...

Pay attention to the moments in which you crave that thing.

Are you full? Empty? Drained? Spent? Alive? Calm?

Most of the time we crave things as an escape from the discomfort we currently feel.

Pay attention.

Because if you try to satisfy any craving from a place of emptiness, you'll feel satisfied for a moment, then it will flee.

And you'll find yourself:

In that new country with that familiar heavy feeling.

With that person but followed by that quiet sunken feeling.

Fill your cup first.

Then do what you want from there.

Never do anything from a place of emptiness.

My personal realisation with this was I noticed whenever I was in the UK and thought about going back to Mexico, it always felt urgent - like I had to do it.

Until I realised: Mexico wasn't calling me because it was Mexico. It was calling me whenever my life felt flat or paused.

"There's many places to visit but nowhere to go" as Kapil Gupta put it smoothly.

3.) Joy

Why do anything unless for the enjoyment of the thing itself?

4.) Don't always trust the first thought

3 weeks ago I was leaving my gym in the UK after a workout.

I was in the changing room getting ready to leave until I realised I needed the toilet (to piss).

"I have to do it in the gym" the first thought fired.

I felt pressured.

Then I questioned it.

"Why? Can't I just piss outside in the woods? Oh, yeah I can." I realised with calm.

Key takeaway: that first thought felt real, like I had to follow it. But I questioned it and realised I could do what I wanted. Keep this in mind the next time your mind fires and pressures you to do something forceful like having a piss in the gym.

5.) Everything you do matters

If you say one thing which makes someone's day, they'll go home to their family happier, their children will then go to school in a better mood, their classmates will feel their good mood, they'll then travel that good mood back to their parents etc. etc. etc.

Nothing you do stops at what you do. It travels.

Do wisely.

Emit the energy you'd want to receive.

6.) The golden rule

If you're in a relationship and about to do something you're unsure of, ask yourself:

"How would I feel if the other person did this?"

Then you'll have your answer as to whether you should do it or not.

7.) Hating yourself

Hating yourself is like going for a long hike while having a pebble in your shoe.

Yes you can still walk, but the journey will be incredibly uncomfortable.

So stop, take the pebble out, then keep walking.

8.) A question...

What's a part of you not being let out right now? Why not? What could you do to let it out?

...

Food's here.

We'll leave the random thoughts there for this week.

I love you all.

Not joking.

Thank you for existing dear reader.

Keep going.

Lew

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